All You Need Is (Self) Love

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

As a high schooler, I've noticed that it's typically frowned upon to love yourself. Most people seem to think that loving yourself is synonymous with being self-centered or a narcissist or conceited, but it's actually a really cool thing that more people should do.

I'm not just preaching this whole self-love thing for a blog post. I'm bad enough as it is when it comes to making time for blogging, so when I do blog, I swear I'm not trying to waste your time. I'm talking about self-love today because I think it's SO important. I was the middle schooler that needed to read a self-love blog post, but I never had it, so today the tables have turned, and I've become the person who could (hopefully) inspire her 14 year old self.

My self-love journey began when I was 14. I was in 8th grade, the last year of an awful thing known as middle school. (Seriously, I don't trust people who loved middle school.) If you know anything about middle school, friend groups when you're 14 are so unstable, and girls can be terribly mean. I had a friend group I absolutely adored. Looking back, we had nothing in common and we would inevitably stop hanging out eventually, but at the time, I thought we would be best friends forever. Obviously, I was wrong. On Saturday we were best friends, but by Monday no one was talking to me. I was never given an explanation as to why I suddenly lost all my friends. One day we were friends, the next no one would talk of me. To this day, I'm not sure what made those girls randomly stop talking to me, but it happened (and 18 year old me is so glad it did). So, now left with no friends, 14 year old me began to question what was wrong with her. Because if nothing was wrong, clearly I would still have friends, right? And thus begins my journey to self-love (which started out on the wrong foot with a little bit of self-hate).

I have never truly fit in. I'm not sure anyone actually does, but as I was approaching my first year of high school essentially friendless, this whole not fitting in thing was especially scary. As I questioned what could possibly be wrong with me, I found countless "problems" with myself. If you're looking for your flaws, trust me, you'll find them. I found my flaws, and instead of embracing them, I let them destroy me. I hated them. But I never let it show.

The 14 year old friendless middle schooler became a 15 year old freshman in high school who met new friends and who surrounded herself with nice people from all the different groups of the high school spectrum. Friend-wise, I was happy, but I wasn't happy with myself. I was a year older, but underneath the strong 15 who seemed to have tons of friends, I was still the 14 year old girl who got left behind. 

Years passed, and I started accepting myself more and more, but I still didn't truly love myself. If I talked to others the way that I talked to myself, I would have been friendless. I was loved by so many people, but I didn't love myself, which is so so vital. I always put everyone else in front of me, and I continued to do so throughout high school. It's funny actually how I would try and make everyone else happy and be the light amidst their own inner darkness, but I never gave myself the time of day. People always told me how friendly I am or how I constantly spread happiness and throw kindness around like confetti, and it was true. I'm rarely pessimistic, and I've hardly ever disliked anyone. Anyone but myself.

The way I see it now, you're born and given one body, one soul, one mind. You can either love what you were blessed with or hate it. And let's face it, life's much too short to spend hating yourself. Please note, I didn't come to that conclusion overnight. I'm 18, and I'm still figuring out this self-love thing, but I have learned a few things. Self-love isn't getting over 100 likes on your Instagram post. It's not when you're having a really good hair day and someone compliments you. You don't need validation or affirmation from others. I'm not going to lie, loving yourself can be terribly hard. When your hair is frizzy and you don't feel pretty, it can seem impossible to love yourself. But as Andy Warhol said, "Everything as beauty, just not everyone sees it." Look around. You are surrounded by so much beauty. You are beautiful. Your might think your feet are too big, but without feet you would lose your independence to walk, to run, to climb, to do the things you take for granted. Think about all the things you hate about yourself, and try to imagine life without them. You probably can't because maybe, just maybe, they're not as awful as you think.

You may hate every inch of yourself or you may be fine with everything except for your pin-straight hair or your bumpy nose. Who knows, you might think you're the greatest thing since sliced bread. No matter where you're at in the journey to self-love, I just want to tell you that it's SO worth it. You're constantly told to treat others the way you want to be treated, but you also need to treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. You are so important. Don't let people tell you that it's not okay to think you're great. Because you really truly are, and I'm here to tell you that.

So, start a revolution, love yourself.

Moral of this super long post: Life's too short to spend at war with yourself. It's okay to fall in love with yourself because falling in love with yourself first doesn't make you vain or selfish, it makes you indestructible. 

I hope everyone has a lovely day. Go watch 'Elf' or listen to some really good Christmas music (Michael Buble anyone?) because it's the most wonderful time of the year!!

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10 Happy Thoughts

  1. Thank you, thank you, thank you. This is an absolutely fantastic and much-needed reminder. I am so glad that you were able to get past being left behind and become such an amazing role model for how to love yourself <e

  2. You gotta love yourself and have confidence in all you think and do! You are so much greater and more special than you believe!

  3. Loving self love and love that you posted this!! All about it!! Keep rocking it!

  4. One of the best blog posts I have read <3 Thank you for sharing your story, and helping to inspire others. You are an inspiration. I am glad to be on the same journey as you.

  5. I loved this post so much! Self love is something I am constantly working on, because I don't ever see a stopping point or a "goal met" date for it. I think more people should focus on loving themselves, because so many people don't realize how wonderful they are! Also, I tagged you in a post a while back called "I Moustache You A Question". Don't know if you ever saw that! We follow each other on Instagram, which is how I found your blog :)

  6. YAAASS. This is beautiful, just like your spirit. Well, I guess this is a reflection of your spirit.
    Loving others is something that we're taught to do from our earliest memories, and that's a wonderful thing indeed. But in loving others, we sometimes forget that we ourselves need love FROM ourselves as well. So you go on lovin' your fabulous and friendly self. You're worth it ♥

  7. omg everything about this is post is perfect. So true and inspirational- I hope more young people see this!! xx
    PS I have a massive GIVEAWAY on over at my blog

  8. beautiful. I dearly wish I had been this self possessed as an 18 year old! -katie k

  9. This is such an important post! Thank you thank you thank you for ahring the word.
    I've been suffering from self-hate (like, litteraly hate) for so many years (started around when I was 12, I think), and it has been very hard. Not until recently did I decide to start to learn how to love myself. There is nothing more comforting than hearing, that I am not the only one who had a hard time :)
    I am glad you are happy again - and love yourself. Because as you said - it is a cool thing!


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