A Letter To All Girls: You Are Magnificent, So Don't Settle

Monday, January 04, 2016

Picture by Logan Cole
Dear You,

You are nothing short of magnificent. I know that's an odd way to begin a letter, but before I delve deeper and begin babbling on about love and boys and other nonsensical things, I think it's important that I make clear that first and foremost, I believe you are magnificent. In fact, I know you're magnificent. 

I probably don't know you personally, but I don't have to actually know you in order to believe that are you are so deserving of love and respect. Whether you have long hair or short eyelashes or sparkling brown eyes or skin that sunburns much too easy, you deserve a person that opens the car door for you. A person that tells their friends about you. A person who would never think of leaving you. A person that thinks you deserve phone calls and doorbell rings and conversations, not just texts and tags on social media. Because you're so much more than someone's #wcw.

In a world full of degrading song lyrics and an unrealistic idea of love, we've romanticized good morning texts, abnormally large teddy bears, and copious amounts of roses to an unhealthy extent. Our social media accounts are full of various #RelationshipGoals, and a relationship isn't actually a real relationship until it's Facebook official. We've started to settle for twenty first century relationships, and it's a problem. 

We've settled for social media flirtations; liking each other's pictures and favoriting each other's tweets. We've settled for "Netflix and Chill" men instead of men willing to have actual conversations that forge deep connections. We've settled for "talking" and avoiding labels and "Snapchat best friends". We've settled for a modern relationship because there's the terrifying possibility that there's nothing better out there. But you are worth so much more than this twenty first definition of love. So I beg of you; don't lose hope, and don't settle for less. 

Humans are a messy sort. We are people full of good intentions and flaws, and everything about us may be a bit messy, but it's beautiful mess nonetheless. As humans, we want to be loved, but we often forget how much effort loving another person truly requires. We let trivial imperfections and silly fights and our tainted perspective of romance cloud our judgement. We should not expect a man or women without flaws. That would be irrational. Yet, we should also refuse to lose hope. We should refuse to settle. Because there is some imperfect person out there that is absolutely perfect for you, and it is by no means unrealistic to have high standards that will eventually lead you to this person. 

There is someone out there that surpasses our generation's embarrassing standards. There is someone out there that will sing with you in the car and dance with you in the kitchen. There is someone out there that will thank God every day for sending the magnificent person that is you into their life. 

You deserve a relationship that isn't centered on read receipts or car honks. You deserve someone who will appreciate your intelligence and sarcasm and frizzy hair. You deserve someone who tells their mom about you. If that person isn't who you're with now, I promise that there's someone even better out there for you. Because if he isn't nice to your friends or the people you surround yourself with, there's someone who is. If he doesn't ring your doorbell and greet your parents, there's someone that does. If he always shows up late, there's someone who's always punctual. If he laughs at your dreams, there's someone who will support every decision you make. If he doesn't remember your birthday or your favorite song, there's someone who will remember even the smallest of details. 

Don't fear waiting, fear settling. Wait for someone who treats you like you've always dreamed of being treated. Wait for someone who wants to spend hours just talking to you. Wait for someone who shakes hands and holds doors and pulls out chairs, even if these chivalrous acts are considered "outdated" by our generation. Wait for someone who misses you at 2 PM when they're busy, not 2 AM when they're lonely. Wait for someone who loves you so much that you wonder why you even considered settling for anything less. 

Wait for someone that looks at you and recognizes how magnificent you truly are. And until that moment comes, please don't settle for anything less. 


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2 Happy Thoughts

  1. You've got your head and heart in the right place, Katherine. Absolutely marvelous post. YOU are magnificent in every way. Whoever is waiting for you out there, he's a lucky man!

  2. I love this post so much. I often wonder if I'm expecting too much out of a relationship, but you're right... you/I/everyone deserves amazing. Beautiful!


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